How to make totally awesome cookies

This recipe is one that I have used several times and has always turned out really well for me. While I like to play with the style, what follows is my notes from my most successful cookie baking attempt.

You will need:
1 cup (250ml) of Butter
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
2-3 tsp Vanilla
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt  Salt in cookies? Nah, leave it out.
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup reeses peanut butter chips
1 special shindig
2 days before the shindig
2-10 friends to show off to


The process:
A couple days before your special shindig, realize that you had intended to make cookies. Finally get around to this recipe late at night. Take unsoftened butter, brown sugar, granulated sugar, 2 eggs (-shell), and vanilla and dump them all into one big mixing bowl.  It is very important that you not soften the butter, because that is a sign of weakness to the cookies and it will be much harder to attain dominance over them. Stir the ingredients with a spoon until they make a sloppy mess, make sure not to do it too well. You'll know it's good if there are still little chunks of butter that didn't stir in all the way. The biggest chunk of butter should only be about skittle sized. Once you think you've made a sufficient mess, throw in the flour and baking soda and salt. Mix ingredients. At this point breaking your spoon is optional, depending on how cheap the spoon was. I find that having the spoon break adds a whole new realm emotion to the baking (pain).


You should have some nice looking cookie dough at this point, note that there are still little chunks of butter that you didn't manage to stir in well enough. Now add the chocolate and peanut butter chips. Stir until chips are sufficiently spread out. At this point we are going to want the cookie dough to rest so that the flavors can sink in, which will work perfectly if you are careful to follow these instructions:
  • Don't realize that it'd be smart to shape the cookies beforehand
    • Working with sticky dough that doesn't want to form properly is half the fun!
  •  Forget to cover the bowl
  • Put bowl in the fridge
Now go live a life for a while. Lazily get out of bed on the morning of your shindig day and take the dough out of the fridge, noting that you forgot to cover it and it looks really dry. Toss bowl on top of the stove while preheating the oven to 375. Have a bowl of cereal and stress out about the fact that your cookies are going to be the worst ever and nobody will like you anymore. Spend some time dawdling around until you think the cookies should be room temperature. Start putting chunks of cookie dough on a baking pan by the tablespoonful. If the chunks look too small for you, add some more dough to the chunks. If the dough seems really dry, get a bit of water on them to make you feel better about it.

If you've spaced the chunks out decently, and the oven is fully heated, put the cookie pan + cookies into the oven. Set a timer for 8 minutes while preparing the next batch on a different baking sheet. When the timer goes off start checking on the cookies to see how they are doing. Notice that they look really silly, and feel disappointed with yourself. Don't take them out right when the edges start browning, because then the middle bit wont be fully cooked. Take them out about 10-15 seconds before you would say "that cookie looks just right!" Throw the pan on the counter and put the next batch in, set timer. Look at your first batch with disappointment, because they look different then your normal cookies and you doubt they'll be good. After a minute or two on the pan, transfer the cookies to a cooling rack. Think "Well I guess someone has to eat these cookies" and eat one of these atrocities. Be extremely surprised when they are INCREDIBLY TASTY. Make the next batches with renewed excitement, making sure to eat one cookie from every batch for quality assurance. Put the completed cookies on a plate and take them to your friends at the shindig. Feel awesome when friends tell you how fantastic your cookies are. Make sure to eat a good portion for yourself (what's the point of baking if you don't get any?)

Feel free to make your own mistakes and ignore the recipe in your own ways, tell me how it goes!

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